Something Smells Funny At Manalapan's Sewer Authority

Da problem here is - this isn't funny - and it could seriously cost anyone who lives in Manalapan and Marlboro who flush their toilets.

Although their investigation received no fanfare at da time, and flew completely under da radar, da Asbury Park Press recently reported that da WMUA Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler Executive Director Michael Dimino is leaving his post after just two years. Dimino was brought in by approval of da board and attorney/sewer dude Eric Abraham. Now, on da surface, this may only wave a small red flag. Now, here's some more things that daTruthSquad's cleaning person found clinging to da bowl that might get your attention:

1. Dimino - and his $115,000 yearly salary - according to da newspaper, either resigned or was forced out -- nobody knows -- and nobody's talking about it says the Asbury Park Press --- "Board of Commissioners Chairman Eric Abraham declined to say whether the board had asked Dimino, 59, to step down or whether he had resigned."

2. You may not be aware, but your toilet-flushing dollars pay for a public relations service for a sewer authority! A fellow named "Jeff Meyer" is da paid-for spokesman for da WMUA. While it is unknown exactly what Meyer, who has been involved in at least one Democratic campaign in da past, makes as a sewer mouthpiece, a daTruthSquad investigation says da figure could be as much as $12,000 to as high as $48,000 per year.

3. Dimino replaced "FBI" Frank Abate, who went from sewer chief to thief to inmate, following an investigation and raid of da WMUA by da FBI and criminal prosecution.

4. Adding insult to injury, it appears there may be a "negotiation" as to what Dimino will leave with -- and we're not talking about toilet-flushing privileges here. While Dimino has da right to leave a position he's been hired for, don't da people who pay his salary have da right to know if any potential wrongdoing is involved, rather than da "Cone of Silence" treatment?

This begs a number of bowl-stopping questions:

Why is Dimino really leaving? Is he being forced out? Did he do something wrong? Is he ill? Is he taking a better job somewhere else? Did someone else do something illegal and he wants no part of it? Was he looking to pad his pension? Is he retiring? Is there an investigation going on nobody knows about?

Why is Eric Abraham silent about this? Why is da other Manalapan sewer dude, Mr. Toubin, who was put back into his position at taxpayer expense by da Queen, da Commissar, and alleged Manalapan/and or Freehold resident & alleged Republican/and or Democrat Andy Boy, not talking about it? Why was he put back in via a non-public interview process, as stated by da local Snoozepaper?

Now, according to da guy who speaks on behalf of toilet water, Dimino's departure could not be discussed "for personnel reasons." In other words, they don't want to discuss it.

Why?

Why all da secrets? This isn't da White House during George Bush's term? This isn't Dick Cheney's office? This isn't da Manalapan Township Committee executive session? This is a sewer authority, for crying out loud! Their job, for lack of a scientific explanation, is to take crapola out of water! And for that - da head sewer rat making six figures is leaving - and not one person paying a toilet flushing fee is being told why by a paid-for spokesperson!!!

If you're da Queen, or da Commissar, and you have big election campaigns going on this year and these are your supported people, wouldn't you think they're asking questions - or should be?

Will "Sewer-gate" cause da Queen's or da Commissar's political ambitions to get stuck around da U-bend?

Could da "Great Manalapan Sewer Caper" be da Queen's "Waterloo?"

DaTruth is, something smelled fishy when it was discovered a sewer authority had its own public relations specialist. Da fact is -- da guy who replaced da guy who was sent from da sewer to da prison is now leaving under a floater? No reasons why? No word on why someone who may be resigning for whatever unknown and hidden reason, even if it was "personal" and not "personnel" would receive further compensation? And can someone please explain to us all exactly why Dimino's leaving "had been discussed previously - but not publicly?"

One would think that, especially with da sordid past da local sewer authority has (FBI Raid, former head sent to prison, 30% toilet flushing fee increase in 1 year, "Taj Mahal-gate), that da commish who replaces da jailed commish , if he leaves, could do so without cloak-and-daggerisms, and his taxpayer-funded lieutennents (these guys get salaries & health benefits) could be a bit more forthcoming?

Don't da people of Manalapan and Freehold and Englishtown and Marlboro who pay for da service all have da right to know?

Yes, indeed. Something smells funny - again - at da Sewer Authority -- and daTruthSquad will keep our noses down despite da odors to track da stench wherever it leads.

And that's daTruth.