DaTruthSquad's Plan to Rectify Manalapan's Latest Black Eye: Da Police Chief Suspended For Calling a State Assembly Candidate a "Lady"

Boy, you can't even go on your vacation getaway to Truth or Consequences without something both big and dastardly happening while you are out of town!

As you all know by now, Manalapan's current honored & decorated police chief is under fire for calling Manalapan's Queen a "lady."

A lot of Manalapanites and even non-Manalapanites ascended on Town Hall for da latest installment of "You Can't Make This Stuff Up!"

Everyone, from former mayors to former police officers to town residents to non-town residents either had amazing stories of Police Chief Stuart Brown, or discussed his courage, compassion, and steadfast support of Manalapan residents. Now, if you were at da meeting, what you heard from Commissar Klauber and his labor lawyer in attendance was that Chief Brown was bringing a lawsuit against Manalapan. What you didn't hear - besides maybe for da very first time -- current Committeewoman & State Assembly candidate Queen Michelle Roth not speaking - was why da Chief was suing Manalapan, Town Administrator Tara Tiara, and da Queen, who is front & center in this extravaganza!

Seems Like Roth & Klauber's Dirty Laundry Is In Its "Spin" Cycle.

So, if da Queen won't tell you, and da Commissar won't tell you, and da Township Committee won't tell you - as always - daTruthSquad will.

Da incident that was da catalyst for Chief Brown's troubles actually goes back to 2005, when da Chief he helped a candidate for Township Committee establish Manalapan's anti-pedophile ordinance. A TruthTeller tells daTruthSquad that da candidate went to da Chief for information on who she could talk to in order to make da ordinance legal and binding, unlike others that were being challenged in court. That, of course, apparently did not make da Queen very happy.

Chief Brown's first mistake -- being against pedophiles.

Then, earlier in da year, Verizon shut down Manalapan's Police Department phones not once - but twice. Da Chief personally contacted Verizon, who told him da reason was for "non-payment." When asked about it, he told daTruth and said exactly what Verizon told him, which did not make da Queen very happy. of course, she was even unhappier after she and Verizon tells everyone this will never happen again, it happens days later!

Chief Brown's second mistake - telling daTruth in order to keep residents safe.

Then, you have a meeting where it has been alleged that da Chief stood up and made a move that was considered by some to be "of a threatening manner." Did he draw his gun? No. Did he put Tara Tiara in a vicious headlock? No.

Did he allegedly stand up out of his chair and walk in da room to an area where da Queen was apparently either standing or sitting? Maybe.

Chief Brown's third mistake - apparently not asking explicit permission from da Queen to leave his seat.

Then, deciding da Chief apparently needed to learn a lesson, da Queen and her Tiara went to a third-party, who said da Chief must be suspended for his alleged movements. Now, they could have just decided to drop their actions, but instead ordered da suspension. Da Chief, being an honorable man, did not want to take this sitting down.

Chief Brown's fourth mistake - not kissing da ring of da Queen or da Tiara's tiara.

Then, apparently he did something that might warrant a suspension. A panel of TruthTellers are all in agreement on this one. At or about da same time da Chief made his alleged threatening-move by standing up and walking, he also called da Queen -- and this is very disturbing so please cover da ears of children -- a "lady."

Chief Brown's fifth mistake - and apparently this was a mistake - a very poor choice of words.

Then, facing da possibility of his claim he was wrongly accused, he decided to stand up (no pun intended) and challenge those who he claims wrongly accused him. He went out in search of a lawyer, and his legal eagle filed a lawsuit against Manalapan Township and their agents for their actions.

Chief Brown's sixth mistake - having both morals and principles, and leading by example.

Of course, he didn't just take da legal advice of any lawyer. He chose one that has won a number of legal cases, knows how a local government works, and knows da players involved. In fact, he hired of all lawyers da arch-nemesis of da Queen and da Cadre - Legal Eagle Da Mosked Man!

Chief Brown's seventh mistake - obviously he has a sense of humor.

Like daTruthSquad said - you really can't make this stuff up.

Now, what is happening in Town Hall is da Township Committee is blaming da Chief for da lawsuit, because he was suspended for - in effect - getting out of his chair and calling da State Assembly candidate a "lady."

This now starts another lawsuit that will cost taxpayers even more money. This gives another black eye to Manalapan, as former Mayor Gray aptly said during da last meeting.

One by one, members of da community praised Police Chief Brown. However, they could have said he was da second coming, and it wouldn't have mattered - because these people were unfortunately, while exercising their right to free speech - were completely wasting their time! Da vote was finalized long before da first citizens filed into da meeting tomb! Would da Commissar turn his back on da Queen? Would her running mate Don Holland? Would Andy Boy hide behind someone's skirt?

Da 2-0 vote with one abstention (Andy Boy) and two people not allowed vote means that yes, another lawsuit will happen to drain even more taxpayer money because da Queen didn't like being called a "lady."

Now, we polled da TruthTellers, and we came up with a number of ways this entire mess can be fixed - and even better - each makes da township money!

Here's how it will work:

Da Township will agree to drop their suspension and issue a written apology to Chief Brown, who will in turn, drop his lawsuit and promise to never call Michelle Roth a "lady," and promise to never get out of his chair at a conference until he gets explicit permission from da Queen at any meeting.

And, here's how they will settle their cases.

Proposal 1: Michelle "I'm No Lady" Roth will battle Chief Stu "I'm Getting Out Of My Chair" Brown in a WWE-style steel cage wrestling match. Proceeds from entry, pay-per-view, and 50/50 raffles will go to lowering property taxes.

Proposal 2: Chief Brown raises money by becoming a DJ and playing the song "Lady" over and over again and da Queen dances to it until it breaks a world record.

Proposal 3: At da next Manalapan Day, two dunk tanks are set up. Da Queen gets one, Chief Brown da other, and people pay $10 each to try to dunk either participant. For some strange reason, we all feel da Queen will bring in da most money here.

Proposal 4: Beer-Pong. Honestly, we don't know who would win that one.

DaTruth is, this whole affair is a slap-in-da-face to da people of Manalapan. A world-class, decorated, and beloved police chief is suspended for calling an alleged woman a "lady."

You know, we all thought using tens of thousands of dollars of taxpayer money suing a blogger for writing about township events was da worst thing that ever happened in local government history. It appears even that travesty of taxpayer money will take a back seat to State Assembly candidate Michelle Roth being called a "lady" -- and getting suspended for it.

Once again, Manalapan is da laughing stock of da state and da nation as this news filters out. And, once again, da taxpayers will pay for it because members of da township committee are issuing checks their egos can't cash.

And that's datruth.