Anyone driving down Woodward Road or near Route 33 has seen an abundance of lawn signs for da Democrats and Republicans in Manalapan, as da election is now less than 30 days away. For da most part we know who is running for da Manalapan Township Committee. Representing da GOP'ers is current Manalapan Mayor for this year Andy Boy with his running mate, da darling of da Yorktowne Club, Jordan "Stu" Maskowitz. As for who is representing da Capo di Tutti Capi, da Boss of all Bosses Gerry "One Bourbon, One Shot & One Beer" Ward has handed us two guys we call "Da Unknown Candidates," or as some on our comment section call them - Beevis and Butthead.
We have already discussed da two "unknown candidates." You can call them "Beevis and Butthead" or even "Spectacularly Unqualified" or just "Rocky & Bullwinkle." We have not discussed da GOP'ers. So, lets do that.
A special daTruthSquad investigation has uncovered a "Manalapan 2010" website for Lord Lucas and da "Masked" Man. What we have learned from their website is da following:
1. We are fairly certain that neither Jordan "Stu" Maskowitz or Andy Boy have "dabbled in witchcraft" or hired illegal aliens to be maids in their households, as far as we can determine.
2. Jordan "Stu" Maskowitz has much more hair than Andy Boy.
3. They have a platform called "Pride," which says they will (P) protect open spaces for our children and our quality of life, (R) reduce the potential for wasted time and money through technological reforms, (I) increase efficiency and affording greater transparency through technology in government, (D) define pride in one word MANALAPAN and (E) ensure quality in township infrastructure at every level to make sure Manalapan works for YOU!.
What does this mean? First, we have learned they can spell. Second, they have chosen five topics here that both GOP'ers and Democrats, including Andy Boy himself, for da most part have run on before! This means - and clearly - that nobody who has been running for office since maybe da Mosked Man seems to be doing anything to solve da issues they have run on in da past!
To be fair, and Democrats whomever they are who are running may wish to take note if indeed they really are campaigning - not one place is da words "Cut Taxes" found in their platform. Neither is anything about "Property Taxes," including what they pay -- or don't pay. To not include a pledge to cut taxes in their platform is either a mistake, or a general slap-in-da-face to GOP'ers but a question that must be both asked and answered!
4. They also have a news site webpage entitled "Latest News." One thing we can say is it is full of news. Another thing we can tell you is that it contains absolutely not one stitch of news about these two particular candidates, unless one of them was involved in da serious car accident on their news page, or da other one plays football for Manalapan High School.
5. On a good note, we found out that da two GOP'er candidates apparently are aspiring bloggers! On their website they also have a "Blog" page called "Our Blog." It is great to see that both Andy Boy and Jordan "Stu" are bloggers! We at daTruthSquad not only welcome da competition, but we salute da fact they apparently support blogging by becoming bloggers themselves! One word of advice --- We can however only hope and pray da Manalapan Township Committee doesn't try to sue you for what you write. If they do, we can definitely recommend an excellent First Amendment attorney. And, Andy Boy and Jordan "Stu," you can also look up da Mosked Man. We hear he's a very good attorney, and he seems to do very well going up against Manalapan politicos.
Oh, and since you two guys are new to blogging and da blogisphere, we should note that da one thing missing from your "blog" page is --- well --- an actual blog!!!! Now, daTruthSquad as you know knows a little something about blogging, so what you may want to do is type some sentences and make them into a blog, make sure you don't upset da Manalapan Township Committee with what you write, post them, and guess what --- you have a blog!!!! If you like, maybe you can even hire daTruthSquad to blog for you. We can always meet in Freehold during business hours to discuss da matter.
6. Their website also contains "About Andy Boy" and "About Jordan "Stu" pages, containing the usual blah, blah, blah about each of them.
7. Their website also includes some photos, links to other GOP'er candidates and a page where you can get one of those fancy GOP'er lawn signs.
It contained some interesting tidbits and was nicely laid out, but then again, there are some things it did not contain. Let's see what their website didn't contain:
ISSUE 1: TAXES! Despite Andy Boy's blah page about himself claiming he passed a budget "under his leadership" with no tax increases (unlike prior years), there have been some questions raised about how that was done and even if it was an election year stunt. Cutting taxes is not to be seen anywhere on their platform, so we must ask ourselves da question - since it's not on their platform, will they cut taxes in da future? "Cutting taxes" not mentioned by a GOP'er is like Stalin not mentioning da word "Socialist."
ISSUE 2: TECHNOLOGICAL REFORMS! What new technological reforms are they talking about? Are both of these guys sequestered in Andy's barn somewhere in Silicon Valley coming up with new and improved technological advances? You have to admit it was a great line. You also have to admit it completely lacks any substance and evidence of their new technological creations.
ISSUE 3: GARBAGE-GATE! As we all know, Manalapan's trash boys who once refused to pick up 50 gallon garbage cans will now again take them. If you ask those who claim to be GOP'ers, they might tell you that it was Andy Boy who solved this issue. We should then thank Andy Boy for reminding da garbage boys that they're supposed to be picking up trash.
ISSUE 4: FINANCIAL DISCLOSURE-GATE! While it was not Andy Boy who allegedly bungled his own financial disclosure statement, he has shown 100% support for da guy who did it - his current right hand man, Lyin' Ryan. This could potentially open da door for da old "cronyism" claim from Beevis and his running mate what's his name - or, at least it should if they were actually campaigning.
ISSUE 5: SURPRISES! Three questions you will need to ask yourself over da next 30 days - (1) What will da silver haired guy with da silver shovel dig up on da GOP'ers, now that da alliance is over and he has da green light to farm for clues, (2) What will da Queen say during a Manalapan Township Meeting that will make news, and (3) what legal maneuver does da Mosked Man have up his sleeve, and will he be rolling up his sleeves and become part of this election process?
DaTruth is, these two darlings of da Yorktowne Club will win because GOP'ers have gained strength in da town and county, and even if they both moved to Freehold next week (no pun intended) they'd both still win. You have to question though what their platform says, or especially what it doesn't say. Also you must question Manalapan's financial picture. From what our embedded Cadre sources are saying, apparently they will be.
As for da alleged Democrat candidates for da Manalapan Township Committee Rocky & Bullwinkle or da unknown candidates, who some that comment on our blog have nicknamed "Beevis and Butthead," da only thing daTruthSquad only knows for certain that they are running for office -- Because They Care -- because that's what their lawn signs say!
And that's daTruth.
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20 comments:
why is ther an uproar over Ryan Greens wife receiving medical benefits from the state. SHe works for the state just like Mr Maskowitz. Did he refuse medical benefits No of course not and i wouldnt expect him to so why is it an issue with Mr. green and his wife
I was wondering when you'd get to discussing Andrew and Jordan. Thank you for keeping it clean, and no they do not dabble in witchcraft although that did make me laugh.
Interesting point Squad about there being nothing about lowering or cutting taxes or a pledge to do so. I was not happy with Andrew when he sided against his party and stood at the side of Michelle Roth. Maybe he learned too much from her. I will be voting for Jordan, but not for Andrew this year. Your look at their website is definitely a deciding factor for me. I have to really wonder if he shares my values.
The reason for the uproar, Green failed to disclose the fact that he was getting free health care from his wifes State Benefits. Then proceeded to berate Michelle Roth for choosing to accept health benefits from the township. He made it look like he was doing the town a solid by not taking any benefits and that Roth was being selfish. All while failing to disclose that he was getting free health care himself, paid for by the tax payers of the state of NJ.
Then...He attributed this oversight to a clerk's failure to explain the financial disclosure forms he submitted to the township. This is why Da Squad coined the name "Lyin Ryan". Thanks squad, for highlighting these antics.
Andrew Lucas can thank his lucky stars for a running mate like Jordan "Stu" Maskowitz. It will be one of the main factors that help him return to office in November. He should also thank the Manalapan Democratic Party for running a campaign that can best be compared to that of a junior high school's class president election. Look for Lucas & Maskowitz to win big in November.
I will be voting for Maskowitz and Iger.
squad, it's time to break precedent now that we found out that eiger and dworkin are real people. i think this year it's high time for you to endorse a write in slate of people that don't exist. i nominate buck rogers and flash gordon.
Lets remember that Lyin Ryan said he didn't have taxpayers paying for his health benefits, and ripped apart Michelle Roth for letting taxpayers pay for hers while he was actually getting health benefits from his wife who is also having her salary paid for by taxpayers - and her health benefits too. That is called deception and Lyin Ryan is guilty as charged. If Lucas won't disassociate himself from this, and he's getting benefits too, then I will not be voting for him either.
I think the real Beevis and Butthead would make better candidates than whoever the two are who are running for the Democrats. BTW, a special thanks from the Republicans to Gerard Ward for allowing whoever these two guys are for running what can be descrivbed as the worst and most silent campaign in Manalapan history.
Wait. You mean the Democrat candidates in Manalapan really aren't named Beevis and Butthead?
Instead of Lucas, I'm going to write in Stuart Moskovitz!
From the NJ.com board. Go Dennis!!!
4996.1.1. KB
by db7753, 10/01/10 2:09 PM
Re: BY THE WAY KB by db7753, 10/01/10 2:09 PM
YOu say you dont' look at this site yet everything I say is repeated and commented to on your site. SO please tell the truth and also kindly cease the foul language on your site. Should be easy to control. You 0nly have about 5 people that actually post there.
As for the meds, mine work fine - yours perhaps need to include something to help your memeory
LOVE IT!! MOSQUE AND MASCOT!!
Write in Joey D!
Will the Lucas Land grab derail the Recublican frieght train in Manalapan ? Is this manna from heaven for the Democrats ?
http://www.app.com/article/20101007/NEWS/10070319/Proposed-land-deal-with-mayor-raises-ethics-concerns-in-Manalapan
No record of the property being purchased ? What is going on here ?
Lucas needs to come clean on how he managed to get this property, did he pay for it? how much ? This raises many questions about possible ethics violations.
Isn't the same developer -Diamond Developers- the same Developer that was partnered with the Drug Kingpin who arrested last year on Taylor Milss Rd. ? How much did Andrew Lucas pay for this property? What is his relationship with Diamond Builders ? How was he abled to get the property Farmland Assesed so quickly,the process usually takes a private citizen up to 2 years t get approval, sounds like he got it done within 6 months ? The people need to hear Da Truth !
If the article is correct,it sounds like the mayor just got himself 95 acres of manalapan real estate for close to nothing. Awesome
In the federal corruption trial of Ridgefield Mayor Anthony Suarez and tax preparer Vincent Tabbachino, FBI informant Solomon Dwek again said he bribed a long list of Shore officials, this time identifying Long Branch Mayor Adam Schneider by name. Dwek rattled off other names, including former West Long Branch Councilman Joseph DeLisa, former Long Branch Councilman John "Fazz" Zambrano and his brother, former West Long Branch Mayor Paul Zambrano, The Star-Ledger of Newark reported Wednesday.
Both Zambranos and DeLisa pleaded guilty in an unrelated corruption case. None could be reached for comment. Meanwhile, Schneider never has been charged and again Wednesday denied he ever accepted a bribe. According to a blog in The Record of Bergen County, Dwek said he bribed the Monmouth County officials before 2006, when he became an FBI informant and began taping his meetings with officials.
Dwek is a former resident of Ocean Township in Monmouth County resident and real estate developer who became a government witness after the FBI arrested him on bank fraud charges. He posed as a corrupt developer in the FBI's sting operation.
Aside from a brief encounter in 2006, Schneider said, he has not spoken with Dwek in more than eight years. Schneider also noted that investigators never have questioned him in regard to the corruption probe in which Dwek alleges to have ensnared more than 40 officials statewide.
This is not the first time Dwek has sought to connect Schneider to allegations of bribery. During the waning days of the tightly fought May mayoral election in Long Branch, Dwek — testifying in the unrelated case of former Assemblyman Daniel Van Pelt, R-Ocean — said he used a middleman to bribe the Long Branch mayor "or" City Council members."
How do I sign up for that $42G for $1.3 million?
And you gotta love the acronym election!
"the tract, currently assessed at $1.3 million, as farmland through the state's Planning Incentive Grant (PIG) program.
Lucas, a financial consultant, declined to say whether he paid anything for the property beyond about $42,000 in back taxes. County land records do not show a sale price for the property."
It was Diamond Builders not Diamond Developers that was involved with the guy arrested in the Taylor Mills Rd. drug bust. They really need to do an investigation and determine what really happened, maybe it will show nothing illegal or unethical took place. Until then speculation about what may have gone down is going to run high.
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