Da Winners and Bigger Losers In Da Election of 2010

It Was Theirs To Lose - And Da Democrats In Manalapan Lost Huge!

Despite a Republican revolution sweeping da nation, Democrats have spoken in District 6 and 12 where Little Anna fell to Frank What's His Name despite being seriously outspent and Scott Sipprelle's $$$$$ lost to Rush Holt. There were really no surprises in those races. What was surprising, maybe, was da hard veer to da right on da ballots that brought home a victory to Land Baron Andy Boy and Jordan "Stu" Moskowitz in Manalapan by a landslide.

So, in this election, let's rate da biggest winner and loser.

WINNER: Land Baron Andy Boy. Only in Manalapan can you get nailed by da major newspaper Asbury Park Press for ethical land issues, people find out da sitting mayor may be looking at a taxpayer-funded million + $$$$$$$$$ payday, and yet he wins his election in a landslide! Ironically, he can't even thank his own GOP'er chairman. He actually owes his victory to da Capo di Tutti Capi, da Boss of all Bosses, da Democratic Chairman! How? Keep reading.

LOSER: Manalapan Democratic Chairman Gerry "One Bourbon - One Scotch and One Beer" Ward. Only in Manalapan can you be handed da goose that lays da golden egg, it keeps on laying more golden eggs, yet you still find new and improved ways lose by a landslide! How? Keep reading.

How is it that da top of da election ticket could win, yet da bottom of da ticket with all da positive newspaper coverage and everything they had going for them lost by a landslide? We put da TruthTellers to work on this following our annual election night Chinese food extravaganza, and here's what we came up with:

ISSUE 1: DA ALLIANCE FALLS.

When you make a deal with da devil, unless you're wearing teflon mittens & booties you're going to get burned. In late-2006, da alliance first exposed by daTruthSquad between da Queen and da Land Baron came about, and for nearly 4 years they were able to keep power between them, file a no chance of winning lawsuit to nowhere against their arch enemy at taxpayer expense and even put together one of da single biggest tax increases in town history. In 2007, two spectacularly unqualified Democratic candidates ran against Andy Boy and lost, and in 2008 two spectacularly unqualified GOP'er candidates ran and lost against da Queen. So, as expected, two unbelievably spectacularly unqualified candidates were placed on da dinner table as sacrificial lambs by da Democrats, who didn't know da alliance was going to fall apart at da hands of da GOP'ers. Fault - da Manalapan Municipal Democratic Chairman for not seeing da ethics through da trees.

ISSUE 2: DA CHOICE OF "ALLEGED" CANDIDATES.

Who did da Manalapan Municipal Democratic Chairman choose to run against da darlings of da Yorktowne Club? One was a guy that when you said "Please stand up," he replies "I already am." Da other guy is barely removed from pimple cream. One guy you can't see even if he's teetering on top of 8 New York City phone books, and da other guy says he had "experience" to do da job. What experience? Beer pong? There's a reason we called them da "Unknown Candidates" and commenters here even called them "Beevis and Butthead." Ask yourself this -

Did they campaign? You have to question that considering da size of da loss. Did they do everything they needed to do to win? They were handed da election by da Asbury Park Press yet still lost by a landslide. Did they do everything they could to win? They didn't even bother to send in information about themselves to da Asbury Park Press when they reviewed da candidates, leaving da newspaper to even write that they didn't send in information!

One word - LEADERSHIP. Three words - THERE WAS NONE.

ISSUE 3: CANDIDATES - WE NO NEED NO STINKIN' CANDIDATES.

When you look back at this election, you saw da Queen pointing out da ethics issues of da Great Manalapan Land Grab of 2010. You saw Curious George Spodak rumbling up to da seat / table / microphone stand in search of a table to lay down his evidence and make point after point. You even saw a special guest appearance by former Mayor Beth Ward who made da single most important point of da great Manalapan Land Grab of 2010. You had Lawrence of Manalapan on sign detail among other things. Hmmmmm, lets see - who is missing here????

That's right - da unknown candidates! Known as "Beevis & Butthead" by some commenters to this site, wherever they were, they were not acting like candidates. And, take it from someone who knows a few things about running successful and winning election campaigns - unless you have candidates who act like candidates, look like candidates, campaign like candidates, shake hands like candidates, go door to door like candidates and meet and greet people like candidates, it's hard to win a campaign. We have been telling you all along that we wouldn't have known those guys if we tripped over them. Needless to say, voters didn't trip during this campaign because there was nothing to fall over. Although this may sound a lot like 2007, these guys could have lived in Freehold and we would never have known.

ISSUE 4: WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.

Thanks to what may have been da single worst campaign in Manalapan history in memory, da GOP'ers will enter 2011 with a 3-2 majority, "Lyin" Ryan Green will become da next mayor. Da Queen will be on an island by herself and will spend 2011 facing a Republican team drooling to lay da worst landslide on her too. DaTruthSquad has also learned there has been some feather ruffling between some members of da Cadre over who is right and who is wrong. This election has left a much stronger Manalapan GOP now led by Land Baron Andy Boy and a much weaker Manalapan Democratic machine which seems like it's 11 cogs shy of a dozen.

ISSUE 4: DA GOOD NEWS AND DA BAD NEWS.

Da good news out of this election is we don't have to fulfill our promise that if da two spectacularly unqualified Democrats won in Manalapan, that we would stop blogging about Manalapan for one year thanks to their landslide loss. Da bad news for politicians who do wrong is that this blog will not stop blogging about Manalapan or anyplace else, and for that you can thank da Capo di Tutti Capi, da Boss of all Bosses Gerry "One Bourbon - One Shot and One Beer" Ward for quite possibly running da worst campaign in town history.

DaTruth here is, maybe da real winners here are Land Baron Andy Boy who won by a landslide despite ethical challenges and will keep control of Manalapan, and Lyin Ryan who will in all liklihood become mayor of Manalapan in 2011, with "Mayor" Jordan "Stu" in 2012. Da real loser here may actually be da Queen, who because of her leader's miscalculations will now have to fight by herself for da little breadcrumbs da new Gang of Three will feed to her. She is up for election next year, and a strong united GOP'er team should be able to do to her what they did to da Unknown Candidates of 2011. Da big question is - what will da Queen of Manalapan do now - and what should she do? That is something we at daTruthSquad are pondering.

One thing is for certain - we will have to give a closer look at what this election loss means for da Cadre and their Democrats, and what 2011 will really bring. For that, you'll have to wait for da next daTruthSquad - coming soon.

And that's daTruth.