Friday, September 17, 2010

Will da Manalapan Democrat Candidates Please Stand Up

At one of our recent TruthTeller Pizza and Pasta get togethers, one of our TruthTellers asked a question that left us all puzzled. Da Question was - Who is running against da Yorktowne Club darlings?

We started looking at each other a bit perplexed. We weren't sure at first, but it wasn't until we looked back at the unofficial Monmouth County election records from June that we found these two guys actually won an election, albeit unopposed. We decided to look into their campaign further, and here's what we found.

ISSUE 1: CAMPAIGN WEBSITE. After an exhausting search of a number of internet search engines, we couldn't find any campaign website for the unknown candidates. Their GOP'er challengers Andy Boy and Jordan "Stu" Maskowitz have one. Theirs has pictures and alleged facts and everything. As for da unknown Democratic candidates - Nothing. No websiteto be found, no platform to be found, no nothing to be found. Whatever their "message" is, it's apparently not getting out through the worldwide web.

ISSUE 2: DEMOCRATIC PARTY WEBSITE: An internet search did uncover da website for da Manalapan democrats. We're happy to tell you that indeed da Manalapan Democratic Party has a website. Da bad news, it brings you directly to a very nice smiling picture of former Manalapan Township Committeeman and Mayor Commissar Klauber! Apparently, nobody told them they may want to update that site, especially since nearly 11 months ago, their candidate Commissar lost that election!

ISSUE 3: WHO ARE THESE GUYS: We had to do some digging, but we did determine that da two unknown candidates actually live in Manalapan (unlike questions raised in two other recent elections). While we wouldn't know them if we tripped over them, we are going to give them da benefit of da doubt that they actually know they are running against da GOP'ers. As for their names, some people who comment on this blog have affectionately began referring to them as "Beevis and Butthead." Until they solve da perils of Issue #4, then we'll either refer to them as da mythical cartoon characters or just as "Da Unknown Candidates."

ISSUE 4: ARE THEY CAMPAIGNING? Your guess is as good as ours.

ISSUE 5: THROUGH DONATIONS, CAN THEY AFFORD CAB FARE TO OLD BRIDGE? According to da latest ELEC report for candidate "Beevis", he placed "-0-" in da boxes for "Total Contributions" and "Total Expenditures" in one report, and in another report, admitted to $1,750.00 in "Total Contributions." We also uncovered that $1,500 came via a single check from the "Manalapan Democrats." As for candidate "Butthead," he also had one ELEC report where he said he raised -0- to date, but a subsequent report showed he was able to scratch together $2,000. However, $1,500 of that money also came from one check from da "Manalapan Democrats." Then another subsequent report shows that figure was raised to $3,500.00, but also included a campaign payment of $1312.50 for "signage," paid to someone who appears to have da same name as their party boss.

So da good news is they have cab fare. Da bad news is a big majority of that $$$$ came from da local party and not from da public. Da worse news is both Jordan "Stu" and Andy Boy both each has raised more $$$$$$, and their reports are nicely typed.

ISSUE 6: ELEC REPORTS: Apparently they learned from a certain 2006 candidate that those records probably should be filed. They seem to be up to date, so they get brownie points for following da rules. We will not take off any points for handwriting.

DaTruth is, this election was expected to be fairly quiet anyway, but that would favor da GOP'ers due to da wave of GOP-ness going on in da county. To be fair, one has to remember these candidates were chosen when there was an unwritten alliance in place and da Queen and Mayor Andy Boy were chummy. Unfortunately for da Queen and da Capo di Tutti Capi, that alliance rug was pulled out from under them after da fact, leaving their unknown and apparently underfunded candidates according to da ELEC reports up against da darlings of da Yorktowne Club.

Is it safe to say this could turn out to be a very one-sided election, and potentially a landslide win for da GOP'ers? Da answer to that is --- unless da "Spectacularly Unknown Candidates" actually become candidates and make some noise. Even da Manalapan Democrats website has no info about them as of this date - just about their 2009 candidate - and he lost!

Honestly, we're not even sure if they are going to put up a fight, or even some token resistance. So, in order to make this a more lively election campaign, daTruthSquad is going to go out on a limb here and make a friendly wager with da Unknown Candidates and da Cadre too.

Ready ---

If both da Manalapan Democrat Unknown Candidates defeat both of da Manalapan GOP'ers, then daTruthSquad vows not to blog at all about Manalapan for all of 2011 - one full year - 365 days!

If either "Beevis or Butthead" as some people call them beat current Mayor Andy Boy, then daTruthSquad will not blog about Manalapan for six months!

Knowing da love, admiration, and respect da members of da Cadre show daTruthSquad, then if this friendly wager doesn't get them to actively campaign and try to make an actual election out of this, then nothing will.

Remember, members of da Cadre, if both da Manalapan Democrat Unknown Candidates defeat both of da Manalapan GOP'ers, then daTruthSquad vows not to blog al all about Manalapan for one year! If either "Beevis or Butthead" beat current Mayor Andy Boy, then daTruthSquad will not blog about Manalapan for six months!

Da next move, of course, is up to da Cadre and their candidates. All of a sudden, da stakes for their candidates, and their Queen, just got a whole lot bigger!

And that's daTruth.


Anonymous said...

"da cadre" is very happy to have this blog continue posting about manalapan, since it is an ongoing source of evidence of the vapidity and ugliness that is so characteristic of right-wing extremist blogging.

Anonymous said...

Maybe it's time for new leadership in the Manalapan Democratic party. If they can't update and maintain a simple website, how can they be trusted to elect candidates?

Anonymous said...

Squaddo, I'm not happy at all about your little wager. What if the Democrats win? Then again, what's the possibility a tornado carries us all to the same place Dorothy and Toto landed?

Anonymous said...

Beevis and Butthead have no website, no campaign, and even their own party boss has the bio of Rick Klauber up as their candidate. I'm sure Michelle Roth is a happy camper right now.

Anonymous said...

Are you trying to tell us that Steve McEnery, Andrew and Jordan have their act together 100 times better than Ward and his puppets? What a shocker that is!

The wicked witch of the Transcript has a failed website, Ward is failing as a leader, he has to supposed candidates we wouldn't know if we fell over them and Roth is on an island by herself. I think its safe to say the Manalapan Democrats have hit bottom.

Anonymous said...

Bevis of Bevis and Butthead is so short even when he's standing he looks like he's sitting.

Anonymous said...

No, I believe they could get even lower by running Roth and Shapiro next year.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the link to ELEC. They must be a government agency because it is crazy to navigate through there but I did find the candidates. You were right that nearly all of the money these two bozos have are from the "Manalapan Democrats." They don't have a prayer of getting elected. Whoever is running the Republicans is making the Democrat leader look like a moron. Makes me glad I'm an Independent.

Anonymous said...

Your theory of this alliance makes more sense every time you blog. I didn't agree with you before but now its just too obvious. The Democrats were made to look like fools by the Republicans here. This election was over before it started.Anyway, I don't want to see you stop blogging. This is the best entertainment in Manalapan and its free!

Anonymous said...

The Manalapan Democrats now have campaign signs out that proclaim "Because We Care." What in the @#$%& do they care about? Maybe the Squad is right and we'll never know.

Anonymous said...

It is indeed a startling commentary on how pathetic the Democratic candidates are when their own committemen and committewomen don't even have their signs on their lawns.

Anonymous said...

Actually, it's a very truthful slogan. They care about getting elected. This is also true of Andrew and Jordan, but their signs won't tell the truth. Instead, they will say something about manalapan being a great place to live and how a "real American" ticket will end the war, fix the recession and keep our taxes low. I say thank you, Beavis and Butthead, for your totally candid campaign signs!!

Anonymous said...

Maybe Andrew and Jordan's signs will steal a line from Roth and say "For All the People."

Anonymous said...

Why wait. Let's just have the campaign victory party for Jordan and Andrew now. Why wait until November. The Democrats seem to be mailing this one in anyway. And the Squad is right. The ELEC reports show Bevis and Butthead are way behind in campaign $$$.

Anonymous said...

Did anyone see George Spodake again at the last Manalapan meeting? He's still going after Ryan Green. Is that all the Democrats have? They may get upset with this, but the last time they really had real power was when Stu Moskovitz was running things for them.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, Stu was great. Everyone loved him until about two minutes after he actually was given any power, and then everyone hated him.

Anonymous said...

"Yeah, Stu was great. Everyone loved him until about two minutes after he actually was given any power, and then everyone hated him."

Ahh, revisionism. Always the weapon of despots who are trying to hold on to power by attacking those who preceded them who were far superior.

No one hated the light at Covered Bridge he forced through. No one hated the decrease in taxes three straight years while increasing the surplus and increasing services (unlike the last few administrations that increased taxes, curtailed services and got rid of good managers and employees, while eliminating the surplus altogether). No one hated increased senior citizens services or the 2.5 million dollar grant that has never been duplicated or the redesigning of Thompson Grove Park that took ten years after he left to implement. In fact, the only few people who actually hated Stu were the greedy, the corrupt and the criminal who had every reason to hate him.

Art Gallagher said...

Anonymous said...

At least no yokels in any club in Manalapan go around endorsing the Ku Klux Klan and its leaders:

"Commemorating the Honorable Robert C. Byrd of West Virginia PDF Print
Tuesday, 29 June 2010 00:00

I rise to recognize and honor the memory of United States Senator Robert C. Byrd of West Virginia."

Born in West Virginia, I have known Senator Byrd my whole life. Senator Byrd faithfully served West Virginia in Congress for more than 57 years. Throughout his career in the House and the Senate, he improved the lives and welfare of the people of West Virginia for whom he cared so much. He worked endlessly to fight for democratic principles, defend the Constitution, and ensure that the American Dream was in reach for all families."

None other than our own beloved Moutaineer, rated the most far left member of Congress:

Anonymous said...

we know he walks on water, but the question is, what is he smoking?

Anonymous said...

Another Monmouth Congressman oblivious to his constituents:!

Nazi Collaborator Funds Your Congressman? said...

You can read it all here:

Anonymous said...

So, where is the newspaper ad from the Yorktown Club asking for Jewish people and African American people to be members in good standing? There is no ad because they want whites only. Prove me wrong Yorktown Club. Then, maybe, I would return as a member.

Remember, I refused to raise my arm even as a mock Hitler joke. Do you know who I am now?

Anonymous said...

If you were a former member, you would know how to spell Yorktowne, you idiot. Once is an oversight, twice proves your ignorance.

Nice try though.

In case you didn't know, Newark must now be in 12th CD said...

Mayor Booker Event This Weekend
Our apologies for filling your inbox! In our last e-mail we mentioned the great event we’re planning with Mayor Cory Booker of Newark. The event is happening this Saturday, September 25th, NOT Sunday the 26th. All of the details are available here.

Paid for and authorized by Rush Holt for Congress, Pam Mount, Treasurer

PO Box 782
Pennington, NJ 08534

To unsubscribe from this mailing list, click here
Powered by NGP Software, Inc.

Anonymous said...

I see this guy can spell. You still didn't answer the previous accusations of no black members. Where are they?

Anonymous said...

I heard one gentleman asked your daughter out and you forbade it. Can you explain the reason to us?

Be Ready to Swing Back said...

[The woman is the 68-year-old treasurer of Anna Little's campaign. h/t moremonmouthusings]

Anonymous said...

Took me about 20 seconds to find this.. Not sure why no one else can find it;

Of course, it is lacking any real content.

Not much more here;