Monday, January 16, 2012

Da Color Of Failure Is Green

You have to admit that Manalapan's GOP did something right in empowering da GOP'ers "First Lady" as Mayor during the town's annual reorganization. After two years of rule under da wealthy landowner and soon to own more land Land Baron Andy Boy, Manalapan handed da keys to da mayor's office to Susan Cohen, da most highly qualified person of da now all-five super majority ruling class of 2012. Rest assured, Manalapan's elegant First Lady will represent not da interests of her party bosses, but instead work for da people of Manalapan, a very refreshing change to say da very least.

Now, who is da color of failure in Manalapan Green?????

Gather around da campfire TruthTellers and hear a tale of woe as only daTruthSquad can tell it:

Once upon a time, a young man flush with political ambition and a thirst for power saw how some benefited and wanted in to da party. So, in walked Ryan Green. He quickly rose through da political ranks, dutifully at da side of his somewhat rotund party boss backing his political masters at each turn.

He rose through da ranks to become "Deputy-Lucas," but that is not where our story ends.

In a thirst for power, he saw a Monmouth County Freeloader position may be within reach. Believing he was perfectly suited to be a Freeloader, Green tossed his beret into da ring and proclaimed with perceived political backing "Yes, I want to be a Freeloader!!!"

However, his ascention to da ranks of da Freeloader Board would prove not just to be a failure, it would prove to be both a miserable and an embarrassing failure, and prove even more to be an extremely embarrassing failure that would make da Manalapan GOP look like a rudderless ship.

Finding his own campaign gaining all da traction of a mule stuck in 10 feet of mud, da "Green Brigade" launched a political cheap shot at front runner Serena DiMaso, claiming she was part of a group attempting to sell Green Acres-funded land with a last-minute accusation that they must have at da very least assumed would throw a wrench into her very positive-run campaign. Green's Hornets tried everything, except maybe calling DiMaso a "Vulture Capitalist" or a "Socialist Marxist Communist."

However, DiMaso, who you can call da "Susan Cohen of Howell" for her elegance, grace and willingness to stand for all da people, instead fired back calling what Green's Goblins did nothing in effect nothing more than 11th hour politics by a failed candidate who couldn't tell da difference between a tomato and da Empire State Building. She released a statement, saying "The Plum Lane property that Ryan ‘read’ about was not purchased with Green Acres money. It was donated to the Township and is surplus land" and then said "If Ryan wanted to engage in a genuine debate about open space, why wait until the 11th hour with a press release? I saw Ryan on the campaign trail three times this week. He has my number and my email. He could have brought this up anytime. This type of last minute distortion is very disappointing coming from a so called Republican. Maybe Ryan’s ambition and NJEA DNA is more dominant in his character than his status as a Republican, especially one who promised to run a positive campaign. If he broke this promise to a fellow Republican, what promises will he break to the Monmouth County taxpayer? ”

Poor "Lyin' Ryan." He should know after working hand-in-hand with da Manalapan GOP Axis of Evil that rule #1 is "When your already deep in a hole - stop digging," and rule #2 is "If you are a perceived Crony Capitalist who backs a land grab that made statewide headlines as a perceived 7-figure partisan political payout, don't shine a light on what you did by falsely claiming someone else is doing it too - especially if they are not."

Well, TruthTellers, da proof is in da GOP'er pudding on this one.

Da GOP'ers all pulled up to da trough and had their nominating event. With daTruthSquad neatly tucked away in da corner and unknown to da GOP'ers in da room, we all watched as da official proceedings took place. Da nominations began, and while da great Jennifer Beck nominated Serena DiMaso, since it appears nobody else wanted da honors, da Manalapan Party Boss Steve "Iron Girth" McEnery nominated "Lyin' Ryan," becoming da only actual party boss who did not hold a county or statewide office to make a candidate nomination!

Then, da vote. With nearly 500 county committee people and a room filled with dignataries and others, and let's not forget daTruthSquad neatly tucked away, Serena took nearly half of all da votes in da first round of ballots - Serena with 243, Howell Mayor Walsh with 140, another guy with 64 and trailing da pack - there was Lyin Ryan with a mere 39 votes!

Walsh, who decided not to allow a runoff, graciously withdrew, leaving Serena just a swearing-in away from becoming a Freeloader!

But, back to Private Ryan.

What became embarassingly clear to everyone in da room was da Green Monster's mere 39 votes. Not only did he prove that his 11th hour political stunt backfired worse than an Edsal with a bad carbourator, he also pulled down some of his supporters with him, but before we go there, why is the number 39 so demeaning to da Manalapan GOP???

Well, TruthTellers, it means that with Manalapan having 52 county committee members, he couldn't even get their full support!!!!! This means that at da bare minimum, 13 Manalapan GOP'er County Committee members -- 25% -- didn't even vote for their own alleged "favorite son!" This means one of two things --- one, a bunch of Manalapan County Committee people picked a very wrong time to all take a smoke break together as da vote started, or Iron Girth doesn't have his own house in order!

Making matters worse, da great MoreMonmouthMusings called McEnery's GOP'er leadership in this case an "embarrassing failure." and Green and McEnery "damaged."

DaTruth is, my TruthTellers, Triple M is right. First, da Green Eggs and Ham team violated Ronald Reagan's 11th commandment. Second, da Green Cheesers picked on da wrong person. Serena DiMaso is beyond reproach, and with style and grace took her size-8 high heels and rammed it squarely in da unprotected hind parts of da 11th commandment breakers. In other words, Green now squarely finds himself in a deep hole that his mentor not only helped him dig, but left both shovels in da hole as evidence! Green Beans had da chance to be da next Manalapan mayor, but instead saw a bigger political salary at da Freeloader trough in his sights, even more high-paying than da town job he voted to have his sister take before that got exposed and Lyin' Ryan was forced to tell da world he didn't recognize his own sister's name!

Instead, da Greenie Baby became political fodder, his "elect ability" for bigger office can now be considered political poison, his party boss was exposed, and even more interesting, Land Baron Andy Boy even seemed to distance himself from this one, not even nominating his now alleged protege, and not even coming out with a statement fro da newspapers standing by his side in da "Green Acres-gate" they tried to tie to Serena, and this of course leads to an even bigger question --- was Andy Boy part of that group who took a smoke break when da vote was going on?????

Or, an even bigger question -- was there another agenda in place to explain Andy Boy's absence from Saving Private Ryan? Under whose orders did at da minimum one-quarter of all Manalapan County Committee folks not vote for their own alleged "favorite son?"

Just another day in da political life of Manalapanistan - and definitely political "Green Meat" food for thought.

And that's daTruth!