Da GOP & Manalapan GOP - Family Resemblences?

Now that Manalapan for the first time in a number of years has a mayor that will work in da best interest of all da people, and one who will put da people before da land grabbing self interests, we can take da time to look at what you could actually call an offshoot of Manalapan politics -- da Republican primary for president of da United States. If you look at da four participants, you could actually see a bit of Manalapan in each and every one of them.

Thanks to da GOP'ers and their efforts to one-up each other at da expense of their own party.....

First, you have Ron Paul, who, if he lived in Manalapan would best resemble one of those called a "renegade" back in the 2007-2009 era of Manalapan politics. Yes, Ron Paul is a Republican, and that cannot be denied. However, he is also not one of those GOP'ers who fit into da mold of da current politburo of Manalapan GOP politics. He's cast as an outsider, as he was at CPAC. He's cast as someone not in da mainstream of da GOP's far right establishment, much like some of Manalapan's great GOP foot soldiers were in 2007-2009. Because of that, he has as much chance to win as Land Baron Andy Boy has of having longer hair than Mrs. Land Baron.

Next, you have Rick Santorum. He's ultra conservative. He's apparently never met an earmark he didn't like. He'd spiral woman's rights back to a day when man shot dinner, and woman plucked it and cooked it while wearing da Muslim equivalent of a Burqa. In a way, he's da Jordan Moskowitz of Manalapan politics. Santorum has principles he believes and doesn't shy from and will stand for them like Jordan "Stu." He's a man's man, like Jordan "Stu." He believes in law and da truth, and has never voted for a Manalapan earmark as far as we know.

Then, you have Newt Gingrich. It seems da Newtster has never met a reality he's like to change and make into his own. It seems as if da truth, to Newtonian, is whatever best suits him at that given moment, much like a former recent Manalapan mayor. While he went after Bill Clinton for having "sex with that woman" who was not his wife, Newton was busy cheating as Speaker of da House - da #3 position in politics - cheating on his own wife with "that woman" who would become wife #2, before he left her for wife #3 (or was that cheated on wife #1 for wife #2)? While Steve "Iron Girth" McEnery has never cheated on his only wife, his hair color and prodigious girth are most like da eye of da Newt.

Which brings us to Willard "Mitt" Romney. He claims he's a working man, just like us. He claims to be an ultra-conservative, and just a guy like any guy. I guess that means every father in Manalapan has eight-figure trust funds for each of their kids, administered by some blind trust guy who parks more money in da Cayman Islands than we'll all ever see in 20 lifetimes. He governed from da left (appeasing Democrats), even though he now claims he's always on da right (to appease right wing Republicans). He was for universal health care and abortion before he was against it.

Now, who does he remind you of??????????

DaTruth is, while none of the GOP'er candidates for President reside in Manalapan, their current politics are akin to what we've all become used to in Land-Grab Acres. Da way things are, this primary will go straight through to da convention, with Mitt being bashed for being too rich, too out of touch, too left and too unelectable for GOP'ers, while Santorum is bashed for being too close to earmarks, too out of touch, too right and too unelectable for independents. Then there's Newt, who is too untruthful, too right while being too left, married way too many times and too unelectable for everybody, and Ron Paul seems to be too much of a wack-a-doodle for everyone in da GOP who isn't too libertarian. Add to all of this an economy growing, and unemployment falling, and businesses getting busier, and all of a sudden 4 more Obama years is becoming too much a possibility.

Da reality is, come October when both sides negative campaigns are in full swing, da GOP won't be able to say da Obama folks are lying or being too negative, because they will most likely be using commercials released by da GOP primary campaigns who were bashing their standard-bearer from January to da convention. And, da closer da primary stays, with Mitt not able to seal da deal, Rick wanting to take women's right and stow them in da stone age, Newt changing his tune like Pandora changes songs and Ron being Ron, then da Obama campaign will have more political ammo than da GOP ever had with candidates named Dukakis and Tsongas and Kerry combined, and it will be a bad night for GOP'ers in November.

Of course, you can also add to this that for da first time since Kennedy was President, a Democrat has kept our great nation safer than his GOP'er counterparts (nailed Osama, other big al-Qaida names, made "drones" a household word) and seems to be bringing us out of da great Recession while saving da auto industry and da banking industry and many other industries, all of a sudden he doesn't seem like this radical, out of control Muslim / Communist / Socialist / Marxist / Leninist / anti-American / anti-Business / anti-Job / anti-Jewish / anti-Democracy / anti-White / pro-Radical / pro-universal health care / pro-tax / pro-social warfare / pro-Europe / pro-Islamist guy who would doom America making us unsafe, unsuccessful, unDemocratic and unlike what da hard right of da GOP want us to believe we actually are.

DaTruth is, as da GOP campaign against itself continues, President Obama is looking better and better each day. Da polls say it, da people and Independent voters seem to say it, and soon da Obama campaign spin machine will be saying it too.

Maybe Mitt and Newt can move to Manalapan and run for Township Committee? Of course, it'd be tough for Mitt to own more land than Land Baron Andy Boy wants to own, and even Newt is smart enough to know da name of his own sister and not vote to give her a high-paying township Rec job.

And that's daTruth!