Hey NO-MegaMallers - Guess Who Approved Highway Access Behind Your Back?

In 2004, a small faction of politicos decided to make da Route 33 Village project their pet project to delay, delay, delay da Cadre way. They went as far as to make outrageous claims to local residents that a XXX movie theater would be built there, a bus depot, low-income apartments, condos, and scared local residents into believing it would even be larger than da Freehold Mall.

They tried everything to block its building, using stall tactics which included study after study after study. Traffic studies, impact studies, studies about studies. One can only imagine some engineering firms reaped these windfall study profits. They even did a study about a road that was actually closed for construction at one point!

Then there was da "No MegaMall" campaign, a campaign that included a website that had ties to da Cadre. There were also promises made by certain politicians that promised it would never be built.

Well....

With absolutely no fanfare whatsoever - and not to be found in da local Snoozepaper - it appears that da "MegaMall" recently received what it wanted and needed all along -- direct access from Route 33. Back in 2004, it proposed a 500,000 square foot plan. That same size plan size is what they wanted back then, and it was EXACTLY what they were approved for now. Da difference -- it won't be a "Village" concept with parks, greens, walkways, a bandshell, recreation facilities and shops with an anchor store. Instead, it will be just another large strip-style mall with a large 2,500 space parking lot, much like da abandoned Value City department store strip mall where Target is on Route 9 -- exactly want area residents didn't want.

Should you be happy with this?

We have to wonder how much money was spent for da engineering firm to come up with da thought that traffic would be alleviated from Millhurst Road if there was access to da Village from Route 33. A 4 year old could have figured that out, and not at taxpayer expense.

The super-geniuses who did da study also figured out that Millhurst Road needs to be widened. Maybe since Manalapan approved 3,000 homes down da road from da Village it had something to do with that????

Now, there is nothing that will stop da "Village' "Strip Mall" from being built, along with its 2.500 parking spaces. Maybe that's good news though. It's not like Manalapan really needs a "Village-style" shopping area. Marlboro is going to build one within walking distance of Manalapan's border on Route 9 by Route 520. They approved that across the road from Pathmark and the Marlboro Plaza, and across da street from Lowes and Starbucks. Manalapan meanwhile not only has one of da lowest ratables in the county, placing da burden of taxes directly on homeowners, but one of the worst ratios in da entire state!

So, Manalapan residents driving on our roads will still be heading to Freehold and Marlboro and other places to shop, and one can only guess that's apparently OK to da Manalapan Township Committee's Gang of Three and their supporters.

Oh, and by da way, more congratulations are in order.

Da Manalapan Township Committee, despite a new governor who's anti-COAH coming into office, along with major dissent from Manalapan and Englishtown residents decided to build that low-income housing apartment complex after all. Da last we remember, didn't da Gang of Three apartment builders promise to do a traffic impact study on this project? If they did, could they have done it in just 2 weeks time?

Since we can only wonder how that came out - daTruthSquad decided to create a completely satirical encounter between an engineer and a politician:

Gang of Three member: "Hey engineer, you know, da one we put into office, we need a traffic study on Route 522. We need it in less than 2 weeks. Can you do it?

Billy Bob Engineer: "Sure, anything for someone who we donated money to. It will be both comprehensive, and cost about $10,000."

Gang of Three member: "Money is no object, especially when da taxpayers are paying for it!!!!"

(a week later)

Billy Bob Engineer: "Hey Gang of Three member, here's that 1000% Blue Ribbon comprehensive traffic impact study you wanted. We determined that Route 522 is a paved road that runs from Manalapan to Englishtown. Cars and trucks can use it. And, it's a pretty shade of asphalt with two really nice yellow lines down da middle of it."

Gang of Three member: "Are you sure traffic can actually use this road?"

Billy Bob Engineer: "I'd stake my reputation that that asphault road can be used by cars and trucks, much like most any road in Manalapan."

Gang of Three member: "Great, that's da best $10,000 of taxpayer money we've spent since we tried to shred da First Amendment against daTruthSquad!"

(laughter)

So, Manalapan will build what Englishtown residents have deemed "Love Canal II," since da land must first be remediated of contamination in da soil. We're all sure that will make all da low-income residents who will live there feel better when they're walking a quarter-mile on land without sidewalks to da nearest bus stop.

DaTruth is, much like da last minute politician spending spree in Trenton as Con-zine departs and an actual governor comes on board, Manalapan's Gang of Three have also been busy doing what they do best. After years of stonewalling, it seems da Village Strip Mall will actually be built. Hopefully - and we really hope this - it will attract da kind of shopping we people on da southern side of Manalapan need so we don't have to jump in our SUV's to Freehold, Howell and Monroe. And, as for our TruthTellers in da northern end of town, you get a 80-unit apartment complex for low-income residents to only partially help alleviate a COAH problem.

But wait, there's more....

As an added bonus, da Manalapan Township Committee will be sticking you with a larger bill - $600,000 larger - as you will see when you follow da bouncing ball of corruption!!!!!

You see, as COAH standards go, since da 110 units have been reduced to 80, that means da township taxpayers will have to pay more. If Manalapan built 110 units, taxpayers would only have to pay $1 million. But since it was downgraded to 80 units - and you get da project anyway, you da taxpayer will now have to pay $1,600,000 instead from its affordable housing trust fund!!!! Math, courtesy of da Asbury Park Press and da state.

So, in effect, you get da low-income apartment building anyway, you get da added kids to da schools, you get more people walking on Route 522, you anger da neighbors in Englishtown, you might even get more speeding tickets in Englishtown, and you pay more for it too!

Not a bad day's work by da Manalapan Township Committee.

All in all, just another day in Manalapan Town Hall. And that's daTruth.