Thursday, December 30, 2010
DaTruthSquad's Crystal Ball Peeks Into 2011 - And Snow For A BaconHead!
We're at the end of another interesting year of Manalapan and Monmouth County politics. When we look back at 2010, we see President Obama's poll numbers falling, Chris Christie's prospects for higher office rising, a Monmouth County GOP working together, Anna Little working all sides, Manalapan Mayor Andy Boy becoming a Land Baron, Manalapan's Queen knowing exactly what it's like to have done to her what she and others did to da Mosked Man from 2006-2010, Manalapan's da Capo di Tutti Capi putting together maybe da worst-run election race in da last 25 years, but nobody got sued to have their First Amendment rights violated!
So, as we will soon close da chapter that is called 2010 and enter a new chapter in da book of 2011, what will be in store for politics and politicians in our little slice of heaven? To answer that question, we have to go into da garage and take out our patented dusty, rusty, trusty DaTruthSquad Crystal Ball and see what it might see for 2011.
We see - a vision: Mayor "Lyin" Ryan Green will be da next figurehead of da Manalapan Township Committee in 2011, voted mayor by a 4-1 majority. Deputy Mayor will be Jordan "Stu" Moskowitz, also by a 4-1 margin. I think we don't need a crystal ball to know who the "1" will be in those 4-1 margins.
We see - another vision. A soon-to-be former Manalapan mayor will win da lottery! Da grand prize - about $1.4 million in taxpayer money to help him buy a "farm" in Manalapan, meaning he will take over some 90 acres and basically pay nothing. Sorry, Drew Shapiro, but your throne has been abdicated too long so Manalapan now has a new "King."
Here are some other visions:
Da GOP in Monmouth County will have little challenge in 2011 for da seats that will be up for grabs. They will barely break a sweat and win by 17%.
Anna Little will announce that she will run again to take on Frank Pallone for his Congress seat, even though da election is in 2012. Since our DaTruthSquad Crystal Ball is only guaranteed to see 12 months or 12,000 miles into da future, we can't see who wins that one - yet.
Manalapan's election will take a startling turn. Da crystal ball sees Farmer Don Holland will not be running for reelection, and da Queen startles everyone when she announces soon after she wins her primary in June that she is resigning from da Manalapan Township Committee, blaming what da crystal balls claims is partisanship over how da 2011 budget was put together and with parting shots exposes startling revelations about 2 members of da Manalapan Township Committee that da Asbury Park Press find so compelling they will investigate, but da local Snoozepaper will call a "non-starter."
Following da Queen's political maneuver, as DaTruthSquad Crystal Ball sees it, she will instead possibly either plan a run in 2012 for a political office, but as we stated, since our DaTruthSquad Crystal Ball is only guaranteed to see 12 months or 12,000 miles into da future, we can't see which political race that will be - yet.
Following da abdication by da Queen, da Manalapan Democrats will lose again in a landslide, giving da Manalapan GOP a 5-0 supermajority on da Township Committee. One of those two new winners will be from da Yorktowne Club, giving da club even more power on da Township Committee than they ever had.
Now, as we put da world-famous daTruthSquad crystal ball back in it's dusty place in da garage, we take out our also-world-famous BaconHead Award for da month of December.
We ironically end da year on a not-so-surprising note. Word has been released that Manalapan's award-winning police chief has reached a settlement with da town over part of his lawsuit. DaTruthSquad will have an expose on that coming up very soon, because we'll be able to tell you then who stood strong - who caved in like a cheap suit, who was da real winner, who lost, and who really lost. That will be coming soon, and it will be an eye opener!
Now, for da BaconHead:
This one was a tough one, and even da TruthTellers were divided as to who would win this. However, by one thin vote, we have a winner.
There are those who lead, and those who are led, and this winner is both. By following da orders of da capo di Tutti Capi, da Boss of All Bosses, she now finds herself on an island by herself. Her former running mate no longer votes her way - and we're not talking about Mr. Anthony Gennaro. With a GOP'er majority and more in lockstep than they have ever been in years, da Queen may find herself facing da wrath of a unified GOP. Could a "Censure" be far away for her actons in da Chief Brown case?
So, for now being alone in a 5-person room, for being da catalyst in a situation against Chief Stu Brown that tarnished da town and made a winner in a legal battle (AGAIN) for his attorney da Mosked Man, for leading da charge in da original case against da Mosked Man that made him a court room winner (AGAIN) against da town, and because of not just her own actions, but also those of her party leadership she now finds herself low on allies, and her prospects of beating a GOP'er machine even lower leaving her political life one step from being compared to a train wreck, this still does not win da voting for BaconHead!
However, we do have a winner:
For leaving da state of New Jersey as a blizzard of historic proportions is bearing down on his kingdom - and being in all places DisneyWorld - and allowing his Lt. Governor - da job whose it is to be in da state when he can't and we pay hundreds of thousands of dollars in taxpayer money for that office holder who ironically heads to sunbathe in Mexico during da Christmas Blizzard of 2010 - and for becoming da new poster child for "Where's Waldo" for spending so much time out of state, da winner of da December 2010 BaconHead of da Month is ----- New Jersey Governor Chris "Where's Waldo" Christie!
Remember - coming up next week we'll have an expose on da Manalapan vs Brown law case that made little headlines but again brought big scorn on a town that loses yet another lawsuit - and we'll tell you HOW and WHY right here!
Happy New Year - And that's daTruth.