Wednesday, April 27, 2011

It's The "Strange Bedfellow" Manalapan Election of 2011

The big news of the election season in Manalapan was da fact that Land Baron Mayor Andy Boy, who just got himself reappointed mayor again was going to run for Monmouth County Freeloader (he lost that election once before) before he was rebuffed by da County GOP'er big cheeses, run for da new District 12 State Senate before he was rebuffed by da guy who will be running for it, run for da new District 12 State Assembly before da County GOP basically laughed that one off too, and then of course in effect actually ran out of things to run for this year. This leaves us with da slate of candidates for da Manalapan Township Committee this year -- and even we must admit it may be one of da better slate of candidates on both sides in a very long time - and one that will produce massive amounts of fireworks to be fair and to be sure.


Running for da Manalapan Republicans is former Manalapan Township committeewoman Susan Cohen and current committeeguy Farmer Don Holland.

Cohen is probably the best breath of fresh air to hit da Manalapan Township Committee since da Mosked Man was a member of it. She has all da positive credentials you need, all da personality you want, and almost assuredly all da dedication to da job you desire in both a candidate and a member of da governing body. Of course, she does have a negative next to her that could be exploited in da campaign - she was once censured by da very same Manalapan Township Committee she is running for -- a vote brought to da floor by none other than current Mayor for Life Andy Boy, a fellow GOP'er.

Farmer Don Holland won 3 years ago when he ran with da Queen as a Democrat. Not only did he change parties and become a GOP'er (da second time a Roth running mate has left da Democrats) but he did so by burning down da house, burning da bridge to da house, and then starting another fire after that one was put out to make sure everything burned as he left da Democrats. In not so many words, he challenged da motives and leadership of da people who run da Manalapan Democrats (da Queen and Gerry "One Bourbon, One Scotch & One Beer" Ward) as he turned his back on them. To be fair, his points were very valid, and much like Mr. Anthony Gennaro who once ran with da Queen and then abdicated da Democrats, he had more than enough reasons. He's also been a very nice breath of fresh farm air on da Committee and has that rare combination of both chutpah and character, and he's not afraid to stand up to party bosses.


Running for da Manalapan Democrats is unknown attorney Seth Ptasiewicz and da Queen of Manalapan Committeewoman Michelle Roth.

Usually when you walk into a court room you have as an attorney a pretty good idea of what you are walking into. You usually either know the judge or you've researched their record. Since attorney Seth Ptasiewicz is an unknown, we did some digging and it seems like this guy isn't a bad egg at all, which of course begs da question - does he know what he's getting himself into? He's a pretty capable attorney who seems to be liked by people, has a good track record in da legal profession as checked out in our handy dandy legal database of NJ attorneys. He's no Mosked Man when it comes to legal experience, but he is licensed to practice law in New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania, his specialty is Labor & Employment law which could come handy on da Township Committee, been a member of da NJ Bar in good standing since 1994 and New York before that, and has no blemishes we can find thus far. Interestingly, he will be da 4rd running mate for da Queen since 2004 (Beth "Bare Knuckles" Ward doesn't count unless she's attempting to pick a fight with someone at a town hall meeting, one left da Democrats after just 2 months and da other left da Democrats after two years but that second year you can tell he wasn't da Queen's lap dog anymore). Oh, and da guy whose last name you probably can't pronounce has worked as an ethics attorney too (you can't make that stuff up)! Pairing da Queen with an ethics attorney --- doesn't that give you visions of placing da finger in da holy water and it starts to boil?

Then, of course, you have da Queen. She brings with her more political baggage than can be found at Newark, Kennedy, Atlanta, LAX and O'Hare Airports combined. She brings with her more political drama than Imelda Marcos has shoes. She was lurking behind da scenes when Manalapan sued da Mosked Man (we all know how that turned out), when Manalapan decided to try to void da First Amendment and went after daTruthSquad (boy do we all know how that turned out and got worldwide attention), went after da symphony leader, da Manalapan Rec leader debacle, da Manalapan Police Chief, et al. Now, she's da target of one lawsuit that got settled and another that seems to have a long way to go, and da Mosked Man's lawsuit that also has some distance to go before da Mosked Man most likely becomes a wealthy guy. Of course there are positives for da Queen - personally she's lost some weight and looks much more svelte, but politically we can't think of anything.

DaTruth is, this potential battle royal now pairs former running mates (Roth & Holland) who are now on opposite sides of da table and are now rivals, a virtual unknown in Seth Ptasiewicz who appears from a legal standpoint not to be like another former member of da Township Committee who claimed to practice law, a person of absolute moral clarity and cares more for da town that she may care for herself in Susan Cohen who was censured by her once-friend then once-rival Andy Boy because she attempted to do da unthinkable - think for herself and do right by da town, and in da Queen, maybe da most polarizing figure in Manalapan political history.

And, to be fair, let's not forget da stakes in this election.

At stake is either a super-majority of all GOP'ers and absolutely NO Democrats on da 2012 Manalapan Township Committee, da potential end to da reign of Manalapan Democratic leader Gerry "One Bourbon, One Shot & One Beer" Ward who just 7 years ago himself had a 5-0 super-majority, nobody involved in Manalapan politics named "Roth," and a feather for da cap of Manalapan GOP'er leader and current Sewer Rat (Commissioner) Steve "Iron Girth" McEnery.

Will da Queen be forced to abdicate her throne? Will a former running mate take her down? Will common sense prevail and Susan Cohen be brought back "For All Da People?" Will yet another attorney become a member of da Manalapan Township Committee? Will this makk da end as Commissar for Gerry Ward as Manalapan Democratic leader? Will Larry Roth become da new head of da Manalapan Democrats in a power struggle? Will Manalapan become da Medical Marijuana capital of New Jersey? Will we see an emergence of da "No MegaMallers?" Will da Village ever be built? Is there a "Birther" issue in Manalapan's future? Is there a political office Andy Boy hasn't run for yet? Will da Manalapan Patch join daTruthSquad as da only internet trusted sources for information in Manalapan? Will there be controversy in this year's Manalapan election? How much money will former Manalapan Police Chief Stu Brown settle for in da "Rage-Gate" case? How much will da Mosked Man settle for in his defamation case? Will Manalapan residents be on da hook in any of these alleged politically motivated cases?

Oh, what a year this will be in Manalapan politics - to be sure.

And that's daTruth!

And, as for da BaconHead, this month we give that honor to Republicans who actually when polled put Donald Trump at da head of who they would vote for against President Obama in 2012. Let's face reality here -- only in America can a reality show guy who has been involved at least by name with bankrupted businesses and while da country digs out of da worst recession since da great Depression get people to believe that a question about a birth certificate was more important than $5 dollar gas price. Maybe he should run for Manalapan Township Committee instead?

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Is Career Politician Andy Boy's Appeal Eroding?

In some cultures, those around you will be publicly seen moving away from you when it seems as though you're either guilty of something or your personal stock is plummeting. Could this be da new reality in Andy Boy's World?

Could it be that sometimes a person's past comes back to haunt them?

In 2006, he turned his back on his former township attorney (Da Mosked Man) who helped get him elected to his first public office. He would then lead the attack to sue and humiliate da Mosked man by voting to approve a legal malpractice lawsuit against him - a lawsuit that would turn Manalapan, da town he was then mayor of in 2007 into a circus that received worldwide scorn for attempting to destroy da fabric of our society, da First Amendment of da Constitution of da United States. It was a case da town would later be forced to end due to something they seemed to really lack -- evidence.

In 2007, he turned his back on his former running mate, da late Joltin' Joe. He also turned his back on another former running mate in 2007 when running for office again.

In 2007 he publicly sided with once-hated rival Democrat da Queen in what some considered a power-sharing operation. There were rumors of backroom deals between both parties in a system to consolidate power, to da point where some GOP'ers who didn't follow Andy Boy's side were considered "renegades" and "insurgents."

Now, fast forward to 2011.

After maneuvering to become mayor of Manalapan for the second year in a row and 3rd time since 2007, he almost immediately decides that's not good enough and decides to run for Monmouth County Freeloader. He gets into a 4-man primary, only to lose even before da June primary when those who choose da candidates didn't choose him. Less than a month later, da state redistricting plan comes in, and District 12 is broken apart, leaving no State Senator and two new State Assemblymen. So, what does Andy Boy do? He immediately makes it known that he will run for State Senate in District 12 - that is - unless one of da new state assemblymen decides to do so. When one of them does decide to do so, what does Andy Boy do? He decides now to run for state assembly!

So, as da newly-designed District 12 seems to be getting their political act together, Andy Boy apparently does not have a ticket for admission there either.

DaTruthSquad has learned from reliable GOP'er sources that Old Bridge Assemblyman Sam Thompson, now in District 12, wants to run for State Senate and also has da party leaders backing to make that happen. He also has da experience and $$$$$ to make that happen too.

In addition, da extremely informative and highly accurate blog called MoreMonmouthMusings is reporting that Thompson wants to have Monmouth Freeloader Director Rob Clifton be da guy to succeed him as Assemblyman. Clifton also has da name appeal and party support, and that includes da OX who has other ideas for Andy Boy. This means that shoulder they seem to be giving Andy Boy is a cold one, and no matter who his handlers are, they don't have enough juice to push their Andy Boy into position to run for yet another office.

So, let's recap.

In 2004, Andy Boy runs for Manalapan Township Committee.
In 2005, he runs for Monmouth County Freeloader and records da first Republican loss in memory losing by a historic margin.
In 2007, Andy Boy makes a deal with Democrats to become Mayor of Manalapan.
In 2010, in anticipation to running again for office Andy Boy becomes Mayor of Manalapan.
In 2010, Andy Boy runs for Manalapan Township Committee.
In 2011, Andy Boy announces a run for Monmouth County Freeloader, but can't get enough support for a primary run.
In 2011, Andy Boy after losing out on da chance for being Freeloader announces he's going to run for da vacant State Senate seat in District 12.
In 2011, Andy Boy after hearing that a new District 12 Republican who has spent over a decade as an Assemblyman wants to run for State Senate, says he will now run for da state assembly.
In 2011, Andy Boy finds out he may not have da support for that either as da powers that be desire a different candidate

To some, it might have been just a little easier to list da elected offices that Andy Boy hasn't officially run for yet...

Governor of New Jersey?
President of the United States?

It is safe to say that being ruler of Syria or Libya or China are offices that he may not have thought about, but it's important to note that they are also not elected offices either.

To be fair, Andy Boy has da right to run for any office and we'd never stop him from pursuing any elected office - even becoming da Pope if he so chose. But how many political offices can he consider running for in just one year, and at what point does this become a distraction to being da mayor of Manalapan?

DaTruth is, an argument can be made that all he seems to want to do is run for political office. So far, he's tried to run for two elected offices within 13 months, and in that time also says he wants to run for two other political offices, meaning he's either run for or announced publicly he would run for 4 political offices in just 15 months -- or a mathematical average of 1 political office every 16 weeks!

Now, of course, this can lead to much political humor.

Is Andy Boy's political ego writing checks his political party supporters can't cash?

Is he trying to break some state political record for trying to run for da most offices in one year?

Can Andy Boy just simply run for every political office this year on a line called "Da Lucas Line

DaTruth is, and to be fair, Andy Boy has announced that he will now not seek any of da Trenton offices. And, that's good news because now it means that Andy Boy can focus on his primary job, being an elected official in Manalapan, or financial guy with an office in his garage, or a farmer. And, he will also now be called upon to deal with a number of thorny political issues smoking in da corner, including da medical marijuana issue for Route 33 that one must wonder if da NoMegaMall crowd will demand an end for, since those folks definitely didn't want ANY development involving da Village or a food supermarket, you'd have to think they wouldn't want a Pot Stop or a Marijuana Supermarket along pristine Route 33? And, as for da NoMegaMallers, where are they with Marijuana haven heading for Route 33, and will Route 33 be 420 friendly? That's something we'll be watching.

All of a sudden, da thoughts of da Queen running again for political office is like distant smoke on Route 33.

And that's daTruth.