Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Da Winners and Bigger Losers In Da Election of 2010

It Was Theirs To Lose - And Da Democrats In Manalapan Lost Huge!

Despite a Republican revolution sweeping da nation, Democrats have spoken in District 6 and 12 where Little Anna fell to Frank What's His Name despite being seriously outspent and Scott Sipprelle's $$$$$ lost to Rush Holt. There were really no surprises in those races. What was surprising, maybe, was da hard veer to da right on da ballots that brought home a victory to Land Baron Andy Boy and Jordan "Stu" Moskowitz in Manalapan by a landslide.

So, in this election, let's rate da biggest winner and loser.

WINNER: Land Baron Andy Boy. Only in Manalapan can you get nailed by da major newspaper Asbury Park Press for ethical land issues, people find out da sitting mayor may be looking at a taxpayer-funded million + $$$$$$$$$ payday, and yet he wins his election in a landslide! Ironically, he can't even thank his own GOP'er chairman. He actually owes his victory to da Capo di Tutti Capi, da Boss of all Bosses, da Democratic Chairman! How? Keep reading.

LOSER: Manalapan Democratic Chairman Gerry "One Bourbon - One Scotch and One Beer" Ward. Only in Manalapan can you be handed da goose that lays da golden egg, it keeps on laying more golden eggs, yet you still find new and improved ways lose by a landslide! How? Keep reading.

How is it that da top of da election ticket could win, yet da bottom of da ticket with all da positive newspaper coverage and everything they had going for them lost by a landslide? We put da TruthTellers to work on this following our annual election night Chinese food extravaganza, and here's what we came up with:


When you make a deal with da devil, unless you're wearing teflon mittens & booties you're going to get burned. In late-2006, da alliance first exposed by daTruthSquad between da Queen and da Land Baron came about, and for nearly 4 years they were able to keep power between them, file a no chance of winning lawsuit to nowhere against their arch enemy at taxpayer expense and even put together one of da single biggest tax increases in town history. In 2007, two spectacularly unqualified Democratic candidates ran against Andy Boy and lost, and in 2008 two spectacularly unqualified GOP'er candidates ran and lost against da Queen. So, as expected, two unbelievably spectacularly unqualified candidates were placed on da dinner table as sacrificial lambs by da Democrats, who didn't know da alliance was going to fall apart at da hands of da GOP'ers. Fault - da Manalapan Municipal Democratic Chairman for not seeing da ethics through da trees.


Who did da Manalapan Municipal Democratic Chairman choose to run against da darlings of da Yorktowne Club? One was a guy that when you said "Please stand up," he replies "I already am." Da other guy is barely removed from pimple cream. One guy you can't see even if he's teetering on top of 8 New York City phone books, and da other guy says he had "experience" to do da job. What experience? Beer pong? There's a reason we called them da "Unknown Candidates" and commenters here even called them "Beevis and Butthead." Ask yourself this -

Did they campaign? You have to question that considering da size of da loss. Did they do everything they needed to do to win? They were handed da election by da Asbury Park Press yet still lost by a landslide. Did they do everything they could to win? They didn't even bother to send in information about themselves to da Asbury Park Press when they reviewed da candidates, leaving da newspaper to even write that they didn't send in information!

One word - LEADERSHIP. Three words - THERE WAS NONE.


When you look back at this election, you saw da Queen pointing out da ethics issues of da Great Manalapan Land Grab of 2010. You saw Curious George Spodak rumbling up to da seat / table / microphone stand in search of a table to lay down his evidence and make point after point. You even saw a special guest appearance by former Mayor Beth Ward who made da single most important point of da great Manalapan Land Grab of 2010. You had Lawrence of Manalapan on sign detail among other things. Hmmmmm, lets see - who is missing here????

That's right - da unknown candidates! Known as "Beevis & Butthead" by some commenters to this site, wherever they were, they were not acting like candidates. And, take it from someone who knows a few things about running successful and winning election campaigns - unless you have candidates who act like candidates, look like candidates, campaign like candidates, shake hands like candidates, go door to door like candidates and meet and greet people like candidates, it's hard to win a campaign. We have been telling you all along that we wouldn't have known those guys if we tripped over them. Needless to say, voters didn't trip during this campaign because there was nothing to fall over. Although this may sound a lot like 2007, these guys could have lived in Freehold and we would never have known.


Thanks to what may have been da single worst campaign in Manalapan history in memory, da GOP'ers will enter 2011 with a 3-2 majority, "Lyin" Ryan Green will become da next mayor. Da Queen will be on an island by herself and will spend 2011 facing a Republican team drooling to lay da worst landslide on her too. DaTruthSquad has also learned there has been some feather ruffling between some members of da Cadre over who is right and who is wrong. This election has left a much stronger Manalapan GOP now led by Land Baron Andy Boy and a much weaker Manalapan Democratic machine which seems like it's 11 cogs shy of a dozen.


Da good news out of this election is we don't have to fulfill our promise that if da two spectacularly unqualified Democrats won in Manalapan, that we would stop blogging about Manalapan for one year thanks to their landslide loss. Da bad news for politicians who do wrong is that this blog will not stop blogging about Manalapan or anyplace else, and for that you can thank da Capo di Tutti Capi, da Boss of all Bosses Gerry "One Bourbon - One Shot and One Beer" Ward for quite possibly running da worst campaign in town history.

DaTruth here is, maybe da real winners here are Land Baron Andy Boy who won by a landslide despite ethical challenges and will keep control of Manalapan, and Lyin Ryan who will in all liklihood become mayor of Manalapan in 2011, with "Mayor" Jordan "Stu" in 2012. Da real loser here may actually be da Queen, who because of her leader's miscalculations will now have to fight by herself for da little breadcrumbs da new Gang of Three will feed to her. She is up for election next year, and a strong united GOP'er team should be able to do to her what they did to da Unknown Candidates of 2011. Da big question is - what will da Queen of Manalapan do now - and what should she do? That is something we at daTruthSquad are pondering.

One thing is for certain - we will have to give a closer look at what this election loss means for da Cadre and their Democrats, and what 2011 will really bring. For that, you'll have to wait for da next daTruthSquad - coming soon.

And that's daTruth.


Anonymous said...

I think I'll do the same thing Lucas did. What's the worst thing that can happen to me? They elect me mayor?

Anonymous said...

Michelle Roth is really going to have fun next year on the TC. They will make her life a living hell up there.

Anonymous said...

If the Democrats can't win an election with all the baggage Lucas was carrying around then I think the campaign manager or whoever ran the campaign needs to be shown the door. There's no excuse.

Anonymous said...

Did you know Andrew Lucas was selected to run as Freeholder again? After all, his people have been asking for Freehold campaign contributions. What else could that mean?

Suckers in Manalapan voted this farmboy to the TWP committee again. He should be good as he runs for another office, right?

By the way, I am planning to become a farmer. I can buy the seed, rent the equiptment, hire illegal aliens, and make enough money in just a few years to buy a 1.6 million dollar property. What a country!!!

Anonymous said...

why don't you tell us how manalapan voted in the congressional races so we can compare how the local dem candidates did against how the congressional candidates did?

Anonymous said...

Hey Gerry Ward. When Bevis and butt head get back from disneyland, do you think you can ask them to take down the hundreds of signs that are still up?

I haven't seen one republican sign since the day after the election.

Anonymous said...

Susan Cohen will make sure da Queen is gone next year. Rumors are she will be running next year against Roth. Holland, who was seen at the republican victory party, has reportedly said he won't be running next year. Maybe the D's will run Dworkin again next year? After all, he will have another years worth of experience.

Anonymous said...

I don't believe Don Holland was at the GOP party. I would also highly doubt Susan Green will run again next year, however I for one would more than welcome her and support her running. She and Don were the only people I'd trust who are on the Manalapan Township Committee right now, and Don has done a great job too.

Avid readers from Union County said...

I think your Democratic chair really didn't do enough, although the team's campaign manager I believe is mostly to blame for their mistakes. Take it from someone who's last state assemblyman was caught on child porn downloading charges. It's not easy to find good people for political office. Sometimes, its also not easy to find good party leaders either.

Anonymous said...

Larry Roth for Manalapan Democratic Municipal Chairman!

Anonymous said...

A suggestion: Please ask the losing candidates to remove their lawn signs, as Manalapan residents, BECAUSE WE CARE!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Are Eiger and Dworkin planning to run again in 2011 for TC? Is that the reason they are keeping their lawn signs up nearly a week after the election?

If they can't pick up their signs, how could they have been trusted to do the township's business?

Anonymous said...

To: Gerard Ward
Fr: The people of Manalapan
Re: Your candidates

Just because you picked the worst candidates in Manalapan election history and ran the worst campaign in Manalapan history doesn't give you the right to litter. The lawn signs are your campaign's responsibility. They put them up. They should take them down. If you can't run a campaign, maybe in the future you should resign and let someone else do a better job. You have done a disservice to the Democrats of Manalapan.

Anonymous said...

looks like the eiger/dworkin team ran slightly ahead of the democratic congressional candidates in manalapan, so the abuse heaped on them here is, as usual, pure, 100% unadulterated baloney.

Anonymous said...

Maybe Steve McEnery can run the Manalapan Democrats too. he did a great job pulling Ward's strings in this past election.

Anonymous said...

Hey Squad, while I don't live in Manalapan I do find what you write both informative and entertaining. Any way you can also do some snooping around in Marlboro and write about us? We have a few Baconheads here who need to be exposed for what they are.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations to all who voted for Holt and Pallone. May you not reap your rewards:

Middle East RSS Feeds RSS Feed
Clinton Announces Aid to Palestinian Authority, Meets with Egyptian Counterpart
Suzanne Presto | State Department 10 November 2010

State Secretary Hillary Rodham Clinton waves to Palestinian PM Salam Fayyad, seen on a video monitor, during a video conferencing at the State Department in Washington, announcing the transfer of budget assistance funds to the Palestinian Authority, 10 Nov 2010

U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced new funding to the Palestinian Authority and held talks with Egyptian Foreign Minister Ahmed Aboul Gheit on Wednesday, a day before her scheduled meeting with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu in New York.

Clinton said that she and her Egyptian counterpart discussed several issues here in Washington, ranging from Israeli-Palestinian issues to the international tribunal investigating the 2005 assassination of former Lebanese Prime Minister Rafik Hariri.

"It is important that we do everything we can at a particularly sensitive time in the region to try to redouble our efforts to achieve a two-state solution [to Israeli-Palestinian tensions], to help stabilize the situation in Sudan, and to work to ensure that the people of Lebanon can have accountability in the search for justice," said Hillary Clinton.

Clinton said that the issue at the top of the agenda was the need for Israeli-Palestinian peace talks toward a two-state solution.

The U.S. Secretary of State has echoed President Barack Obama's criticism of Israel's announcement this week that it is moving ahead with plans to build 1,300 new housing units in East Jerusalem.

Egypt's Foreign Minister Aboul Gheit told reporters at the State Department that Egyptian officials believe the United States is making a serious effort to bring both parties to the negotiating table and that Israel needs to show it is serious about peace.

"I have to tell you that we are concerned," said Aboul Gheit. "We are concerned because we feel that Israel is not doing what is required on the Israeli side to do."

U.S.-brokered peace talks stalled last month when Israel did not extend a freeze on most West Bank settlement activity. The Palestinians say they will not return to the talks without an extension of the freeze.

Palestinian chief negotiator Saeb Erekat has said that in the absence of peace talks, the Palestinians might seek support in the United Nations for a declaration of independence.

Clinton said the United States believes that both sides should refrain from unilateral actions that could jeopardize the peace process.

Earlier, Clinton announced that the United States has transferred $150 million in new aid to the Palestinian Authority to help close its budget gap.

"This new funding will help the Palestinian Authority pay down its debt, continue to deliver services and security to its people, and keep the progress going," she said. . . .

The secretary of state said the funds bring U.S. direct budget assistance to the Palestinian Authority to $225 million this year. Overall support and investment to the Palestinians is nearly $600 million for the year.

Anonymous said...

I found your blog while researching cases on the Electronic Frontier website. I found it fascinating what you went through. In my country, we can blog however the government is aware well what people write. Be happy you have the freedoms you have in the USA.