Da Ultimate Fighting Championships Manalapan Style - A Manalapan Township Meeting!

Sitting in da Manalapan Township arena and watching da events unfurl during da last Manalapan Township Committee meeting on December 17, one might think instead of a town meeting where so-called professionals conduct business we were all instead at a wrestling event or Ultimate Fighting steel cage match.

Da meeting was quite normal, that is, until da peasants of Manalapan were allowed to speak to da grand-high-exalted-mystic Township Committee leadership. That's when a disclaimer should have been read, saying, in part, "Those who bow before us must wear body armor and a helmet, because da verbal assaults we will levy at 'ye' may inflict serious pain & damage."

One woman came up, and when she asked her questions of Manalapan's elected power brokers, many simply went unanswered with blank stares.

Another woman stepped forward into da steel cage of death. She asked a simple question as to what volunteer committee she would be able to join? She wanted to volunteer to help da town. Instead of an answer, she heard da sound of crickets.

That same woman then asked a question about lawsuit billing in da Mosked Man case. On that one, she did receive an answer from da Queen of Mean. Fortunately for that woman, who did not wear her Kevlar vest nor matching face protector, she wasn't boiled in oil or led into da stocks for public humiliation. Since apparently those items were not in da budget, she was instead humiliated by da Queen of Mean herself!

"It's getting to be a little comical with you," da Queen of Mean said to this innocent woman who's crime was she merely asked a question of a township official. Da Queen of Mean then said, "We have been very patient with you all year."

"It's getting to be a little comical with you?" "We have been very patient with you all year?" Nice to see Manalapan residents are shown da utmost respect by elected town officials!

Da good news is, da Township did not start deportation to Middlesex County proceedings. Da bad news, of course, it didn't end there.

Da next contestant into da squared circle of death brought with him evidence of a letter signed by alleged Republican and/or Democrat & alleged Manalapan and/or Freehold resident Andy Boy, which said he would resign if he violated ethics, especially knowingly discussing topics from the dredded Executive Session. Da contestant alleged that very thing, saying, "(Andy Boy) provided info from executive session considered privileged info. At meetings he and former committeeman Joltin Joe talked about meetings, including executive session." That, da contestant said, violated da Manalapan Oath of Confidentiality, which Andy Boy allegedly signed. Those statements were backed up by Deputy Mayor Susan Cohen.

Andy Boy's reply was - what about those who haven't signed it? Apparently he's read da Cadre's book, "Deflect & Accuse."

Ironically, that is da very same situation that "drew" both rebuke and censure from da Gang of Three. One can only surmise that violations of Executive Session are only violations when they pertain to da Mosked Man law case, or people other than da Gang of Three.

Which, of course, brings us to da now-infamous "Township of Manalapan vs Da Mosked Man" legal case heard 'round da world, because knowing all they'll hear is da lovely sound of crickets, you know somebody was going to bring it up.

When the contestant in da steel cage match asked about the bills, a snippy sounding Queen of Mean said bluntly, "You're complaining about a bill because Mr. Moskovitz started a lawsuit."

"You're complaining about a bill because Mr. Moskovitz started a lawsuit???????"

Yes, you heard that right -- according to da Queen of Mean, she said for all to hear that it was da Mosked Man who started da lawsuit!

Now, da last time daTruthSquad checked, it was "Da Township of Manalapan" who, as plaintiff, brought da case, against "Da Mosked Man," who is da defendant, meaning - not da person who brought da lawsuit. Did da Queen of Mean suddenly leave da same planet we're all paying taxes on and land in some parallel alternate universe?

Apparently, if da Queen of mean is correct, da local Snoozepaper has been wrong all along. How could Back Page Barratta miss that headline?

Of course, da meeting on da mysterious planet Queenie didn't end there.

Another person came up, this time da head of da GOP'ers club. He had a few questions for alleged Republican and/or Democrat & alleged Manalapan and/or Freehold resident Andy Boy. Andy Boy, who has known this individual for years, then proceeded to mispronounce da citizen's last name, calling da citizen, in effect, a bathroom fixture.

Apparently both facts and respect for citizens have no place in Township meetings.

Da final person to come up was, in fact, best prepared to fight his way out of da Extreme Insult Cage Match, bringing with him a shovel, scissors da size of garden shears, and a list of things to say, showing out of all da citizens who stepped into da steel cage of death, he was da only one properly prepared for an Ultimate Fighting Cage Match to ensue. What he didn't bring was a timer because he spoke for over 10 minutes, and a lawyer because he may need one for guidance.

This last speaker/fighter harkened us all back to da days before a certain resident moved into Manalapan, proving it's AOK in da Queen's court to insult and ridicule any resident of your choosing - that is - as long as they're not members of da Cadre - and then set his sights on da person alleged Republican and/or Democrat & alleged Manalapan and/or Freehold resident Andy Boy has a problem pronouncing his name. That citizen was called a plagiarist, alluding to a letter to da Snoozer editor penned by da citizen. He then said about da person Committeeman Andy Boy confused with a bathroom fixture, "He plagiarized Mr. Lucas letter as his own. He lied to da News Transcript. He cannot be trusted."

Now, in his defense, this last speaker did not yell "fire" in a crowded theatre, and he did not break any existing laws. He did, however, claim that a well-known Manalapan resident and business person and community leader committed "plagiarism," "lied" to a newspaper, and "cannot be trusted." DaTruthSquad contacted a legal eagle about this for guidance, and was told, "Da target of these criticisms could potentially have a legal case, but would in fact have to prove damages from da alleged statements. If da Township facilitated da matter in any way or did nothing to distance themselves from what was said, they could possibly be attached, but that would be a decision for a judge."

Now, daTruthSquad cannot and will not hand out free legal advice, but in this case, if that citizen has questions they should consult a qualified attorney, but make sure if a case does commence it's done on a contingency fee, because as we all learned in November, 2007 from a former Manalapan Township attorney, "There's nobody more determined than a lawyer working on a contingency fee."

DaTruth is, not only did not one member of da Manalapan Township Committee say anything during this situation, nor with any of da other 8 citizens singled out for complaints, but da Queen of Mean threatened to have anyone disturbing da speaker removed from da room! How can any resident feel easy about walking into da steel cage match that awaits them, simply to talk and ask questions of a mayor and alleged town leaders?

And, if you expect 2009 to be any different - think again. DaTruthSquad's embedded Cadre sources have learned that da Queen of Mean has enjoyed her time on da throne, so much so, she may feel "entitled" to another term as supreme ruler of Manalapan. It is very possible that da Queen will again be mayor in 2009, no matter if Cash Klauber, up for reelection, wants it or not. Stay tuned for an upcoming daTruthSquad for more details on this.

If there is a silver lining here, it's that daTruthSquad through embedded Township sources that there have been more OPRA requests for information about situations regarding Manalapan government than ever before! This means da peasants aren't sitting around believing everything they hear from these career politicians. They are instead investigating for themselves. And, maybe all of these brave patriots who stand in da squared circle of death facing da Queen of Mean and her court jesters are getting under their skin enough to have them say such things as "It's getting to be a little comical with you," and "We have been very patient with you all year," and comparing your name to a bathroom fixture.

Due to da hard work of Manalapan's TruthTeller's, it seems that maybe, just maybe, these career politicians won't be able to get away with everything. And, be a TruthTeller and keep asking questions during meetings. Those who hide in corners and lurk in shadows don't like anyone to shine a light on their activities.

And that's daTruth.